Me Without You
by SkyeRose
Summary: Snippets from all the SG-1 Valentine's Days we never got to see. Some stories are angsty and some are fluffy. SamJack, Daniel/Sha're, Daniel/Janet, and maybe some Teal'c/Ish'ta. And some Pete bashing for good measure. Better than the summary, I promise!
1. Year One

**Me Without You**

**Chapter One: The First Year**

**Disclaimer: None of the recognizable stuff is mine. SG-1 and other characters from the franchise are not mine. But the plot and possible "extra" characters are.**

**A/N: So, this is kind of early, but I plan on making this a multi-part V-day story. Each chapter will focus on a character's Valentine's Day during the first eight years of SG-1. I'll try to keep as true to the timeline as possible, but since the episodes aren't on a month by month timeline, there'll be some liberties taken.**

**Please Read and Review!**

Daniel wondered through the deserted corridors of the SGC. He'd only been back for a few months, but he already knew the base like the back of his hand. He trudged down another hall and was relieved to see that he was still alone. He really didn't want to see anyone right now. The pain of losing Sha're was still fresh and he was tired of everyone asking how he was doing. And he knew that because of what day it was, he would be getting a lot more of those questions today.

February 14th. Valentine's Day. A Hallmark Holiday. Whatever you wanted to call it, this holiday single-handedly divided the population more than any other holiday. Daniel had always been in the indifferent category; he didn't hate Valentine's Day, but he didn't lose his mind over it either.

Last year had been different. He had had Sha're. He had tried to explain the holiday to her, but she had laughed, saying that there isn't a certain day for love, but that it should be celebrated every day with every breath. Daniel smiled at the memory and his walking slowed as he allowed to himself to be immersed in that day.

_Sha're rolled over to face Daniel, eyes opening slowly. She smiled warmly but seemed surprised to wake up to find him staring at her. "Daniel, is everything alright? You never wake before me."_

_Daniel smiled and reached behind him, a secretive glint in his eye. "Close your eyes."_

"_Daniel-," But she trailed at the look in his eye. Her eyes slipped close and felt Daniel shift beside her._

"_Open them." Daniel's voice was full of anxiety as she did so._

_Sha're looked at what Daniel was holding and felt her smile grow wider. In her husband's hand was a carved wooden shape painted a deep red. "What is it?" She asked as she took the object. She laughed with delight when she discovered that it was actually a box, lid and bottom fitted together perfectly._

"_It's a heart." Daniel said, holding a hand up to her chest. "It's a representation of love."_

_Sha're beamed and poked around inside the heart box. "You'll get me fat, Daniel!" She laughed as she held up a piece of candy. The box had been filled with all of her favorite treats. "Why do you spoil me so?"_

"_Back on Earth we have a holiday called Valentine's Day. It's a day when two people who are in love give each other gifts, usually heart shaped boxes filled with chocolate. Or small stuffed animals." Daniel chuckled at his wife's look of horror. "Not real animals. They're made of cotton and fluff."_

"_Oh." Sha're sighed with relief. "Thank you, Daniel. But I don't see how there can be just one day for love. Love should be celebrated every day with every waking moment. Like my love for you, Daniel. I celebrate our union every day."_

_Daniel smiled, choosing not to push the origin of the holiday. "I do too."_

Daniel felt tears pushing against the back of his eyes as he forced himself back to reality.

"I'll find you, Sha're." Daniel whispered, balling his hands into fists. "I swear I will. By next Valentine's Day I'll have you back in my arms."

**TBC**

**A/N: Please R and R!**


	2. Year Two

**Chapter 2: Year Two**

**Disclaimer: See first chapter.**

**A/N: Thank you to all those who read! Please feel free to leave a review, even if it's just one word! Writers like to know what their audience thinks! Just please, no flames. **

**So here's year two. It was kind of a big year for Sam (what with getting Tok'ra-ed and all), so I've decided to make this one about her. I really like second season Sam, there were just really good storylines for her. Season seven as well.**

**Oh, well. Rambling over. So please read and review!**

**Enjoy!**

Sam's eyes snapped open, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her heart pounded inside her ribcage. Sitting up slowly, she forced her eyes to adjust to the darkness, willing her heart to slow down. '_It was just a dream.'_ Sam repeated over and over, the words becoming one long unintelligible string. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Sam forced the images of her nightmare out of her mind.

Settling down again, Sam pulled the blanket up around her shoulders and closed her eyes…only to sit bolt upright when someone entered her tent, the soft glow of the firelight outlining a broad figure.

"Whoa, Carter. Easy." Jack stepped the rest of the way into the tent and let the flap fall behind him, throwing the two officers back into darkness.

"Sorry, sir. " Sam swiped a hand across her forehand, cringing when it came away cold with sweat.

"Bad dream?" Jack settled into his sleeping bag, keeping a concerned eye on his second in command.

"Something like that." Sam smiled tightly at him before standing slowly.

"Going somewhere?" Jack's voice was casual, but Sam detected an undercurrent of amusement.

"My turn to take watch, sir." Sam started to lace her boots.

"No, it's not, Carter." He could barely make out her outline, but knew she had turned to give him a quizzical stare. "Ran into Teal'c on my way back. He offered to take next watch."

"Really?" The doubt in Sam's voice was not lost on Jack.

"You know T. He's an animal." Jack grinned into the dark.

"Yes, sir." Sam, still quite disbelieving of Jack, leaned slowly back onto her sleeping bag.

"So…Carter…" Jack trailed and tugged at a loose strand in his blanket.

"Colonel?" Sam answered, voice low with exhaustion.

"Looked like a pretty nasty one. Dream, I mean." Jack frowned in the darkness. Sometimes he envied Daniel's ability with words.

"It was…a dream." Sam laughed without humor.

"Care to share?" Jack pushed himself up on his elbow, eyes tracing the dim outline of his second. He could tell her body was tense, all hard lines and angles. It had been recently brought to his attention by an oh-so-subtle Daniel that he spent a good deal of time studying Carter. He told himself it was because she was his 2IC and that he needed to know her as well as he knew himself, but deep down, Jack knew that wasn't the real reason. Or, at least, not the only real reason.

When Sam tensed further, Jack backed off. "Or don't. I won't make it an order…this time." He had been going for humor, but when she didn't respond he thought she might've taken it the wrong way. "That was a joke, Carter."

"I know, sir." Sam squeezed her eyes shut, wanting the Colonel to push and not wanting him to at the same time. It was becoming increasingly difficult to look at the Colonel as just a commanding officer…as just a friend. And this nightmare she'd had was on par with a topic that she never wanted to discuss with him. "It's just, I don't know, everything that's been happening recently…" She shuddered and Jack knew she was thinking of her time as host to a Tok'ra symbiote a few months back. "Sometimes, it's hard to sort out which feelings are mine and which…aren't."

Jack sighed. He couldn't possibly know what it felt like to house the feelings of someone-some_thing_- else. But he did know what it felt like to be confused by his feelings and be forced to divide himself into two "people" because of them. There was Colonel Jonathan J. O'Neill, United States Air Force, discouraged and forbidden from feeling anything for this woman.

But then there was Jack O'Neill, human being. Who wanted nothing more than to explore his feelings for said woman. He knew his situation and Carter's didn't compare, but he liked to think he kind of understood where she was coming from.

"…and especially today," Carter cut herself off as Jack shook himself from his thoughts, coming into her sentence halfway through.

"Especially today?" Jack squinted at his Captain. Why would she be especially emotional today? Maybe it was an important day for the Tok'ra, or maybe some kind of anniversary for her, or maybe a birthday?

Crap. Was today Carter's birthday? He was pretty sure it wasn't, having practically memorized her entire personnel file. But Jack knew he didn't always have the best memory.

"Um, Carter…I'm sorry. I swear I didn't forget." Jack started a little haltingly. He heard the woman next to him shift as she looked up at him.

"Sir? I-," She started, but he cut her off.

"No, I know you don't like making a big deal of these things, but I know it's important." '_Crap. Crap. Crap. I don't even have a gift for her.' _The more Jack thought about it, the more he felt today _was_ her birthday. _'Alright, Jack.'_ The little soldier in his head jumped to attention. _'Begin rescue mission now.'_

"Well, I mean, it's important for some people, but I didn't expect you to remember, sir." Sam tilted her head, surprised the Colonel was taking this so personally. Her heart skipped a little, but she refused to let herself acknowledge the reason behind it.

Jack twitched a little at the emphasis she put on 'you.' Why shouldn't he remember? Sure, he was her CO, but he was also her friend. _'Friend…d'oh.'_ His traitorous mind said before he shoved those thoughts away. "Why shouldn't I remember, Carter? It's a really important day and you're…important to me." He knew he was toeing the line.

Sam opened and closed her mouth several times, unsure of how to respond. Was he saying what she thought he might be saying? She knew that she and the Colonel had this…this _thing, _but she had convinced herself it was mostly her imagination.

Jack, taking her silence to mean acquiescence, continued. "So, yeah. Happy Birthday, Carter."

A long moment of silence.

And then Carter cracked up. She doubled over, pressing her face into her blanket to muffle her laughter. Jack went very still, his mind going blank. Why was she laughing? He had just been trying to do something nice…

"It's…it's not…my birthday, Colonel." Sam gasped out between laughs.

"I—I knew that." Jack stammered, feeling very, very stupid. "I was just…making sure you did?" His voice went up on the last word, indicating that even he knew that it was a very poor save.

"Sure, sir." Sam wiped her eyes and settled down again. "Thank you." She added after a moment.

"For what?" Jack cringed at the petulant note in his voice. He could practically feel Carter's grin.

"I feel better, sir." Sam smiled contentedly up at the tent ceiling.

"Glad I could help. Sorry I…" He trailed, knowing Carter would get it.

Sam chuckled softly, but didn't say anything. After a while, Jack felt sleep pulling at him and closed his eyes. Just as he had begun to drift off, Sam whispered something so softly it took him a minute to process her words.

"Happy Valentine's Day, sir."

_Crap._

**A/N: Please R and R!**


	3. Year Three

**Chapter 3: Year Three**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. D'oh.**

**A/N: Thank you so much for all who reviewed! Getting closer to Valentine's Day! But I just wanted to remind everyone (Thank you to LadyMo for your wonderful review expressing this same sentiment) that even though Valentine's Day is one day set aside by society to express your love for someone, it's important to love everyday. You should tell the ones you love how you feel everyday, with every breath, because you never know what can happen. Love is something that should be cherished and expressed. Not a candy-heart holiday one day out of three hundred and sixty five.**

**So live and love fully and without regret. You never know what tomorrow's going to bring.**

**Enjoy!**

Daniel stood in the elevator, rocking back on his heels as he waited for the car to come to a stop on Level 21. Adjusting his glasses, he looked up and frowned when he found the elevator's resident airman staring at him.

"Um, hello." Daniel smiled tightly, eyebrows still raised at the man. The other man merely nodded, still staring at Daniel. "Can I help you?"

"No, sir." The airman said, still not moving his eyes from Daniel.

'_Okay, this is awkward.'_ Daniel shifted uncomfortably and looked at the red numbers, thinking that 21 couldn't come fast enough.

The airman cleared his throat and shifted; a small smirk twisting the man's mouth.

"Alright, what?" Daniel asked, surprising himself with how much he sounded like Jack. _'Definitely spending too much time with him.'_

"Nothing, sir." But the airman glanced down for a millisecond and Daniel knew.

He was looking at the garish red box under Daniel's arm. And jumping to God knew what conclusions.

"It's for a friend." Daniel explained quickly. "For Sam." He clarified when the man didn't respond. "Major Carter?" He tried, only slightly surprised when _that_ made the man nod.

And give Daniel a very odd, very sympathetic look.

"What?" Daniel asked again, irritation evident. The man merely shrugged. Daniel was about to press him further when the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. Stepping out, Daniel gave the man one last look before shaking his head and turning around, determined to put that elevator ride out of his mind forever.

He was almost out of earshot when he heard the airman mutter something. "What?" Daniel half-shouted, but the doors had closed. Daniel walked away, shaking his head and wondering if he'd heard the man correctly. It had sounded like he'd said, "Better not let Colonel O'Neill see," but that couldn't be right.

'_Although,'_ Daniel thought. _'It does make sense.'_ If Jack thought Daniel meant anything other than friendship by it. But Daniel knew that the older man would understand the gesture for what it was.

He hoped.

Daniel rounded the corner and rapped gently on the doorframe of Sam's lab. "Knock, knock."

Sam glanced up, a welding mask upturned on her forehead. "Daniel." The blonde woman smiled and straightened up, wiping her hands on her BDU pants. "I thought you'd gone home for the next few days." Hammond had granted them all leave after the whole 'alternate-universe-Dr.-Samantha-Carter-and-her-doomed-reality' thing.

"I am, but I wanted to stop by here first." He grinned guiltily as he pulled the red heart box from behind his back. "So I could give you this."

"Daniel!" Sam pulled the mask off her head and ruffled her hair, staring at the man with a mixture of surprise and gratitude. "What—why?" Sam stuttered as she came around her work table and took the box from Daniel. She ran her fingers over the red silk ribbon.

"I know the last few days have been really hard on you. I just wanted to remind you that not everything is as…unstable…as you may think. I'm always going to be here for you." Daniel smiled.

"Daniel, thank you. I…you have no idea how much I needed this." Sam placed the box carefully on her table before grabbing Daniel in a bear hug.

"I think I did." Daniel hugged her back, before pulling away and holding her at arm's length. "You're like a sister to me, Sam. I know when you need chocolate."

Sam laughed and squeezed Daniel's arm. "That obvious, huh?"

"No, I'm just extremely perceptive." Daniel winked before looking over her shoulder. "Is it absolutely necessary that you finish that tonight?"

Sam glanced behind her and shrugged. "Not really. I was just doing to keep my mind off of the col—," Sam cut herself off, blushing slightly before clearing her throat. "Not really."

Daniel smiled sympathetically. He knew what it was like to love someone and not be able to be with them. The only difference was that he had gotten to have that love, for however short a time that had been. "Sam, maybe you should try talking to him. You know, _really_ talk to him."

Sam considered playing dumb and laughing Daniel off. Instead she sighed. "Maybe." She smiled slightly, remembering last Valentine's Day and how bad the Colonel had felt after his mix up. He had turned it into a joke when, come her actual birthday, he had wished her a Happy Valentine's Day. They had shared a brief, secret smile when everyone around them had looked on with confused expressions, wondering if they should correct him.

Daniel watched the emotions run across Sam's face, eventually amassing into one of utter sadness. "Maybe next year." Sam sighed resignedly. "Yeah."

"Sam…I don't want to push you, but…what happens if you wait too long?" When Sam merely looked at him he continued. "Look, don't take anything for granted. Forever isn't actually forever, Sam. Take it from me." Sam's eyes clouded.

"I'm sorry, Daniel." Sam squeezed his hand. "Did you and Sha're…?"

Daniel smiled sadly. "We had our Valentine's Day."

Sam smiled and looked down at the floor. "And I'll have mine. Someday."

Daniel opened his mouth, but at the last moment decided against it. They would figure it out on their own. At least he hoped so. Instead, he clapped his hands. "So…Samantha Carter, will you be my Valentine?"

Sam smiled, laying her hand dramatically over her heart. "I would love to, Daniel."

"Great—,"

"But Teal'c already asked me." Sam finished, smiling sheepishly.

"Why that wily…" Daniel smiled. "Well, why can't you have two?"

Sam opened her mouth to reply when a voice from the door stopped her in her tracks.

"Make that three, Carter." Jack stepped into the room, standing next to Daniel and Sam.

"Sir…" Sam trailed before visibly pulling herself together. "That'd be great. A girl can never have too many Valentines."

"No, she can't, Carter." Jack smiled.

"Jack, I think in light of what day it is you can maybe drop the formalities?" Daniel smirked inwardly.

Sam glanced up at Jack, refusing to acknowledge that her heart had just started beating faster.

"You know, Danny-boy, I think you're right. Samantha, may I be your third Valentine?" He gave a mock bow and Sam laughed.

"Of course, sir."

"So, dinner?" Jack bounced on his heels. "I'm starving." His eyes shot to Carter before he could stop himself.

"Sure, Jack." Daniel's tone indicated he had seen Jack's look. "There's a new swanky restaurant near O'Malley's. Sound good? Good." He continued without waiting for an answer. "You guys change and I'll go grab Teal'c. Although, last time I checked he was kel'no'reeming, so we might run a little late. Jack, why don't you drive Sam and I'll take Teal'c as soon as he's done?" Daniel smiled innocently at the two officers.

"Um..okay." Sam ran a hand through her hair. "Could you give me ten, sir?"

"Sure, Sam. But not a second more." Jack stepped aside as his 2IC moved past him. "And, remember, _Sam_…it's Jack!" Sam smiled over her shoulder before disappearing down the corridor.

Daniel looked over at Jack.

And Jack looked back at Daniel.

"Oh, shut up." Jack muttered without irritation and left to get changed.

…..

Fifteen minutes later found Jack and Sam leaving the mountain, walking in amiable silence. When they reached Jack's truck, he opened the passenger door for her. Sam raised her eyebrows. "Thank you, sir—Jack." She quickly corrected.

"And they say chivalry is dead." Jack winked before hopping behind the wheel.

"Jack…" Sam trailed unsure of how to proceed with her next thought.

"Yes, Sam."

Surprised that the Colonel answered in the affirmative and not the questioning, Sam frowned. "You don't know what I was going to say."

"Yes, I do." Jack looked over at her as he drove away from the mountain.

"Alright, I'll bite. What was I going to say?" Sam leaned back. She could almost pretend that they were not two officers in the Air Force.

"That this feels an awful lot like a set up."

"Yup." Sam nodded, slightly impressed. "But Daniel wouldn't…"

"Of course not."

They were both silent for a moment.

"He did, didn't he?"

"He definitely did." Jack confirmed. They both laughed and Sam shook her head slightly.

"Sir-,"

"Jack." He corrected.

Sam hesitated, unsure how appropriate that would be considering the newly developed situation. "Jack…is this…? I mean, are we…?" She trailed, blushing furiously.

"What's wrong with two friends going to dinner?" _'On Valentine's Day.'_ He finished in his mind.

Sam's shoulders slumped slightly. She knew she couldn't ask for more, but hearing him refer to them as friends still stung. "Right. Nothing."

They rode the rest of the way in silence; the only sound the soft strains of whatever radio station Jack had the truck dialed to. When they got to the restaurant, Jack killed the ignition and hopped out, offering his arm to Sam. She smiled and accepted, realizing that this may be the last time they got to do this…at least for awhile. So she might as well enjoy whatever she could get.

As they reached the doorway, Jack stopped and turned Carter to face him. Sam looked up at him, breath catching when she realized just how close they were. "Happy Birthday, Sam."

And right then, at that exact moment, Sam knew that this would not be their last Valentine's Day.

**A/N: So waaay longer than I originally intended. And the story completely ran away from me, but I kinda like where it went. Please R and R!**


	4. Year Four

**Chapter 4: Year 4**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

**A/N: So…wow. Been almost a whole year since I updated this. But I figured since Valentine's Day is again quickly approaching, it wouldn't hurt to add a few more chapters. So I hope you all haven't forgotten about this story!**

**Oh, and as for the timing of this 'Entity' and 'Double Jeopardy' aired closest to Feb. 14, so I'm choosing to go with 'Entity.' Brief spoilers throughout.**

**Enjoy!**

Jack stared straight ahead, eyes unseeing. He was numb; physically and emotionally exhausted. He couldn't even comprehend what he had done…could not even begin to understand what this meant and where he would go from here.

Jack O'Neill was lost.

People kept shuffling nervously into the room, not speaking to him, but rather giving their respect to the fallen woman lying on the cot in front of him. Daniel and Teal'c came by a few times to see if Jack wanted a break, but he waved them off, not even looking in their direction. He couldn't take his eyes off the prone body before him. Most of her face was obscured by the tubes keeping her alive, so instead he studied her hand. Those hands had saved the world time and again over the last four years. She had saved so many lives, including his own, just by moving those fingers.

But it had been his hand that took all of that away from her. He glanced down at his fingers, his chest burning with traitorous feelings. He had shot her. He had shot his major. Twice. With a zat gun.

He had _killed_ her.

"God…" His voice was rough with disuse. Jack pressed his palms against his eyes, trying desperately to erase the image of Carter falling to the ground, her head bouncing on her arm, and her eyes slipping closed. God, her eyes.

He hadn't seen those baby blues in over twenty four hours. He couldn't remember the last time twenty four hours had gone by without her looking at him, whether in exasperation or amusement. He had never really stopped to think how he had taken her eyes for granted. Had taken _her _for granted.

And now she may never open those eyes again. And it was his fault.

Jack looked at his 2IC, willing her to wake up. For her chest to rise and fall of its own accord and her eyes to open and look at him. He would smile and say 'Welcome back, Carter' and she would smile back, letting her expression do the talking. He would tell her to get some rest and then he'd call the doc. She would be okay and they would be okay and the whole world would be back to normal.

But the minutes and the hours passed and the only sound in the room was the mechanical breathing of the respirator. Jack stared at his major with an indescribable horror—for the first time since this whole thing started, it really hit him what he'd done. Everything that had changed. What if Carter actually didn't wake up this time? She would never laugh again, never share a conspiratorial look with him again, never technobabble again.

Jack was interrupted from his dark thoughts by a soft knock on the door. "Come." He didn't look up.

"Hey, Jack." Daniel's voice was low, as if he were talking to a wild animal.

"Daniel. Teal'c." Jack sighed, before briefly glancing in their direction. It was the best he could muster. He was too full of guilt to meet his friends' eyes.

"We, ah, we brought Sam some…uh…flowers. To, you know, brighten up the room a bit." Daniel stumbled over his words, not quite sure how to handle the situation. By all rights, Sam should have been dead over twenty four hours ago, but Jack was holding on. Not that Daniel didn't agree; he stalwartly believed they would figure out something. But, for the time being…this didn't look good. And Jack looked like he was about to let go of all reason.

"Thanks, Daniel." Peripherally, Jack berated himself for not thinking of that first. But he couldn't have left Carter's for a second, even if he wanted to.

Daniel and Teal'c stayed with him for awhile; not speaking, just letting their presence be a comfort. After a time, Daniel stood and squeezed Sam's hand, praying to anyone who was listening to let her wake up. After another minute, he looked at Teal'c and nodded towards the door. Teal'c inclined his head and started to follow before he paused and turned back to Sam.

Taking her hand in both of his he gripped her fingers tightly. "Happy Valentine's Day, Major Carter. You are loved." And with that, the two men turned and left the room.

Jack blinked, stunned at what had just happened. Valentine's Day? It couldn't be Valentine's Day. Not now. Not after…

Jack's wide eyes turned to look at Sam's face again. Memories of the last Valentine's Day flooded back to him, bringing a sharp pain to his chest. They had been set up by none other than one Dr. Jackson and they had actually had a great time. It wasn't awkward or full of tension. It was a perfect night. Never in a million years could he ever have imagined where a year would take them.

Jack stood slowly, his mind sluggish, but made up. He had brought Carter down and now he would bring her back. No matter what, he wouldn't give up. Not until every option had been explored and every ally contacted to help. He tapped the bed near Carter's hand, unwilling to give him the comfort of holding her hand. He didn't deserve it. Not yet.

"I'll bring you back, Sam. I swear to God, I'll bring you back."

**A/N: I hope you liked it! I know it's the darkest one I've done so far, but I kind of liked where it went. Please leave a review! **


	5. Year Five

**Year Five**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters.**

**A/N: Alright, so we're coming up on the last few chapters and right in time for Valentine's Day! Thank you to everyone who has read! This chapter is for Daniel and Janet, set soon after the events of 'Meridian.' Spoilers for the episode!**

*****There is also a bonus part to this chapter marked by the dotted page break*****

**Enjoy!**

White. That was all Janet could see. The white of the bandages covering his body, the white of the sheets he had lain in, the white of his eyes as they had rolled back into his head, and the white of the blazing light he had disappeared in. _'White is the absence of color.'_ Some long forgotten part of her mind whispered. White is the absence of him.

Days had passed, but Janet Frasier felt stuck; like time wasn't passing at all for her. She was still trapped in that moment that his eyes had closed and he had vanished. Trapped in the white blaze of everything. She had just stood there. After everything, after all of the times he and the rest of SG-1 had come back in grave condition, she had been there—she had saved them. But not this time. There was nothing she could do. He had been exposed to too much radiation and she had been forced to sit there and watch as the man before her wasted away into nothing. The pain…God, the pain he must have felt.

Janet's head dropped into her hands and she pressed her palms to her eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears. She felt like she had been crying for years. Her eyes were red and swollen and they itched constantly. She'd gone home that night, unable to finish her medical report and just cried. Cassie had held her for awhile and they wept together. Daniel had become something of a surrogate father to her and now he was gone. No more coming over for Friday night dinners, no more long rants about long dead cultures, no more strange games from other planets. It was all over.

Janet had moved through the next few days in a daze. Smiling when she was supposed to, nodding solemnly when the situation dictated. She had finished her preliminary report and Hammond had accepted it without a word. He had just nodded, a sympathetic look pulling at his expression. Janet didn't bother to tell him it wasn't a full report, he would find out soon enough. All she wanted was to be alone. Without really paying attention, her feet carried her on autopilot to her office in the infirmary. She took the long way in order to avoid the observation room; she couldn't bear to be near that room. That room that held the last look Daniel would ever give her. Ever.

Janet didn't know how long she sat at her desk before a soft knock came from the door. Clearing her throat and swiping a precautionary hand under her eyes, she said, "Come."

"Hey." Sam's voice was gentle as she stuck her head in the door. "I was wondering if you and Cassie wanted to come over tonight? We can rent some stupid movies and just have a girl's night kind of thing." Sam's tone was soft, but not overly hopeful. She knew the other woman was hurting and most likely wanted to avoid having to be around other people.

"Thanks, Sam, but…um…I think I'll just stay in. I've got a lot of…work. You know." Janet cleared her throat and averted her eyes.

Sam nodded and had started to back out when she stopped. She hesitated for another second before stepping back into the room and closing the door behind her. Without looking up, Janet said flatly, "Sam, I appreciate you coming over here, but I just really want to be alone right now. I'm sorry."

"I know." Sam bit the inside of her lip before continuing. "Listen, Janet, I know you want to be alone and I know you're killing yourself over what happened, but hear me out." She paused, suddenly uncomfortable. "Please."

Janet didn't say anything for a long time, instead she pursed her lips and stared down at her desk. Finally, she sighed. "Okay."

The briefest ghost of a smile flitted over Sam's lips. "Thanks." Sitting across from the smaller woman, Sam leaned her forearms on the desk. Unsure of how to start, Sam took a deep breath and plunged on. "If you take nothing else away from this, I need you to know that what happened wasn't your fault. In any way. There was nothing that could be done; not by you and not by anyone else." Janet snorted derisively, but Sam continued as if she hadn't heard anything.

"I know that, the General knows that, and Daniel knows it." Sam took a deep breath, knowing what she had to say next would not initially go over well. "I know what you're going through."

"Oh, you do?" Janet's voice was quiet, but the contempt was clear. How could anyone know what she was feeling? How dare anyone even think that they could begin to grasp the concept of just how broken she was inside.

"I do." Taking a deep breath and glancing over her shoulder to make sure the door was shut. "Janet, do you know how many times I've watched him die?"

"Sam. Reminding me of how many times Daniel has died isn't really what I need to hear right now." Janet ran a hand through her hair, still not looking at the blonde woman.

"Not Daniel." She checked over her shoulder one more time. "Colonel O'Neill. Do you know how many times I've had to watch him die? It feels like thousands, Janet." At this, the doctor's shoulders stiffened and her expression unclouded momentarily. Sam rarely talked about this, and never on base. "I've been powerless to stop it so many times. All I can do is watch and hope and pray that it isn't it. That this isn't the last time he'll open his eyes. That this isn't the last time he'll look at me."

Sam broke off, feeling a prickling at the corners of her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she reigned her emotions in as best she could and continued. "The first time it happened, I thought I was dead too, Janet. The complete panic that I felt…it was unbelievable. It was like someone had ripped out everything that was inside of me. And every time…" She swallowed. "Every time, I'm scared it's the last time. That this time it's permanent and there won't be some miracle."

"There have been times when I didn't think any of you would make it." Janet looked into her friend's clear blue eyes. "But you've been lucky. He's always come back to you."

Sam looked down. "Yes. He has." She paused before looking up again. "Do you remember when he was trapped, two years ago? On Edora?" Janet nodded. "Those were the worst three months of my life. I don't think I left the base at all. I worked and worked and tried to find a way to get him back. I broke, Janet. I almost gave up. I thought he was gone and that the rest of my life I would have to spend trying to forget him." Sam paused again, struggling with her words. She couldn't remember ever speaking this candidly.

"But I kept going. You called me the Energizer Bunny, remember?" Janet laughed, but quickly quieted knowing where this story was going. "And then we did it. We found a way and we went back for him because we had never forgotten him. But he had forgotten me." Sam mused on that for a moment. "You know, I sometimes wonder if that was worse than death. Seeing him with her. Knowing that he had forgotten me, knowing that he hadn't had enough faith in me."

"But, Sam…this is different." Janet hesitated, knowing this memory was incredibly difficult for Sam. But she couldn't see how the two related.

"It's not though. Not really. He was gone for three months. A hundred days I spent living and breathing nothing but the thought of having him back."

"But he wasn't dead, Sam."

"No, he wasn't. And neither is Daniel. You have to remember that. He's ascended, but he's not gone. We can get him back."

"How?" Janet's voice cracked as the tears came rushing to her eyes. "How do you know he isn't happy there? How do you know he isn't furious at me for not saving him?"

"I don't. But I can't think of a single place Daniel would rather be than with you." Sam reached out and laid her hand on her friend's arm, willing her to believe in what she was saying. "Janet, the look he got in his eyes every time he talked about you or heard your name…you have to know there is nowhere else he'd be happier."

Janet squeezed her eyes shut, quiet sobs wracking her body. She wanted to believe Sam so much, but she couldn't. "Was…was the colonel happier there? Did—did he wish you had just let him go?"

Sam swallowed hard. She couldn't answer that question because, in truth, she didn't know. She had never broached that particular topic with him, worried that he might want to go back if he ever heard her name again. It was stupid and childish, but that whole planet was taboo to Sam. What if he really did prefer to be there? What if…what if what they had here wasn't enough?

But Sam shook her head, unwilling to think those thoughts right now. Janet was the focus. And helping her was Sam's top priority. Which is why she said the words that followed. "No. No, he wasn't happier there, Janet. He had given up, but he hoped every second that we hadn't."

"Did he tell you that?" Janet's tone was on the verge of disbelief as she sniffed and pulled herself together.

"I know it in my heart, Janet. I can feel it. And Daniel wants to come home. But there might be some stuff he has to work out first. And some things that you have to as well."

"Like how I could possibly let him die like that?" Janet ducked her head again.

"No. Like what's important. You have to trust that in the end everything is going to work out the way it's supposed to."

"Like fate?" A sardonic laugh escaped her mouth before she could stop it."

"No," Sam said, her eyes hard, wanting her friend to understand that it wasn't over for her yet. "You need to work for everything that you want to happen. Make it happen. Figure out what you want, then make it happen." Sam stood, already slightly regretting just how much she had said. _'You shouldn't preach what you don't practice, Carter.'_ The voice of her CO rang in her head. He had been her voice of reason since begin MIA for those one hundred days.

"Sam?" Janet's voice trembled slightly as Sam turned towards the door. "What would you do if it was the last time?"

"Sorry?" Sam's heart was pounding and she suddenly wanted to run from the room.

"What if Colonel O'Neill doesn't come back next time?"

"I'll find a way to get him back, Janet. I will always find a way." And with that, Sam left the room, shutting the door behind her. She needed air. And space. She knew she shouldn't have revealed so much, she had put Janet in an awkward position. Frasier was still military and still obligated to report behavioral misconducts. Not that Sam thought Janet would tell anyone. But, after all that, she still wasn't sure if the doctor felt any better.

Janet stared at the door for a long while after Sam left. She was right, but Janet was having a hard time making her head believe what her heart wanted to. Daniel was gone and this just might be the time someone from SG-1 doesn't come back. The invincible team…

Janet sighed and stood, shutting the lights of and locking her office. She would go home and in the morning she would start to heal and work towards bringing him back. But right now, she just needed to grieve.

….

Sam paused outside the door to her lab. She had sworn that she had closed the door when she left. But it stood slightly ajar and she could see the shadow of a boot swinging back and forth. That could only be one person. Not sure if she wanted to smile or cry, Sam entered her lab.

"Carter." Jack stopped swinging his foot as his major pushed the door open.

"Sir?" It came out as more of a question than a greeting and he cocked his head.

"Expecting someone else, Major?" He smiled slightly.

"No, sir. Just…I thought you left. The mountain. Awhile ago." Sam cleared her throat and averted her eyes, well aware that she was making this exchange extremely awkward. But after the words and emotions that had come pouring out of her less than five minutes ago in Frasier's office, she couldn't figure out how to act normal around him.

Jack cocked his head, eyebrows raised in amusement. But there was something else in his expression. It was gone before Sam could identify it. "Something on your mind, Major?"

"No, sir." Sam mentally clapped herself on the back when she managed to keep her tone even and her words succinct.

"You know, Carter…" He picked up her latest "doohickey" from the desk and played with it, not looking up until he spoke again. "It occurred to me that I never really thanked you."

"For what, sir?" Sam gingerly removed the device from his hand and set it down, quirking an eyebrow at him.

Jack raised his brow in return before answering. "For not giving up on me. When I was on Edora."

Sam's face drained of color and her heart threatened to beat right out of her chest. _He had heard._

"C—colonel, I can-,"

"Not to worry, Carter." He waved his hand. "I didn't hear anything."

That just made Sam feel worse. Of course he had heard. How else was he supposed to know that he shouldn't have heard anything? "Sir, I can explain."

"No need." He paused, looking directly into her eyes. "You have nothing to apologize for. Understood?" He held her gaze a moment longer than was necessary.

Sam licked her lips nervously, but nodded. "Understood." He could have her court marshaled. Or thrown off of SG-1. Seeing her worry, Jack stood, revealing what had been concealed on the desk behind him. A large piece of cherry pie sat on a festive red plate.

Sam frowned, momentarily forgetting that he had heard her literally pour her heart out to Janet.

Jack smiled and tucked his hands into his pockets. "Happy Valentine's Day, Carter." Sam stood in shock, staring between him and the pie. He wasn't angry with her? Maybe he hadn't heard everything.

Without another word, Jack took two steps forward and gave Sam the barest of kisses, his lips just brushing her cheek. Then he was gone, moving towards the door.

"Happy Valentine's Day…Jack."

But he was already gone.

**TBC**

**A/N: Please Read and Review!  
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	6. Year Six

**Year Six**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters.**

**A/N: I'm so sorry this has taken me so long! I wrote a first version last week and hated the direction it went in, so I took some time and came up with this instead! I'll probably upload the first version as a bonus chapter later on.**

**Set during the sixth season finale "Full Circle." Episode spoilers.**

**Enjoy!**

****Note: The interactions are inspired from AT and RDA's real life dorkiness. I realize much of it is slightly out of character.**

Jack sat alone in the commissary, pushing the last few pieces of his steak—if you could call this steak—around on his plate. He stared down at the gravy circle he kept tracing around his plate; Skaara's last words echoing in his head. _'The Chappa'i will remain until you leave.'_ Until he leaves. Just like he left Abydos earlier—left them all to die. He had hesitated, had turned around to look behind him, hoping and praying that he wasn't leaving this planet to be destroyed.

But he did. He left and Abydos was no more. All of those people…gone. Their lives taken because SG-1 had failed. He should've been able to save them.

Jack ignored everyone around him as the commissary slowly began to empty. It was late and everyone else was either heading home or to their on-base quarters. He remembered the first time he'd seen Skaara. He'd been a kid, still was a kid. He had latched onto Jack almost immediately, curious about everything.

And now he was gone too. All the joy and wonder had been stolen from him and it was all Jack's fault. Again.

"O'Neill."

Jack started, the cold piece of steak skidding off of his plate and onto the table. "Teal'c." He cleared his throat and glanced up at his friend. "What's up?"

"You did not attend the post mission briefing." Teal'c moved to stand in front of Jack, but did not sit down.

Jack looked down at his plate. "Yes, well…I was busy." He frowned and tapped the table with his fingers.

"I see." Teal'c's tone implied that he did not.

"Anything important happen?" Jack asked, trying to steer the conversation away from his oh-so-wonderful excuse.

"No."

"Anything I needed to be there for?"

"No."

"Did the General send you to find me?"

"No."

Jack finally looked up, frustrated with the other man's brevity. "Then what?" His tone came out harsher than he intended, but Teal'c didn't seem to notice.

"I have merely come to warn you." Teal'c shifted, but still did not sit.

Jack froze, his gaze slowly moving to meet Teal'c's eyes. He kept his face composed, but his heart started racing. _'Warn me? Warn me about what?'_ "What happened?"

"You did not attend the post-mission briefing."

"Yes, we've been over that. Did something happen?" Jack stood slowly, bracing his hands on the table.

"It did not." Teal'c raised an eyebrow and Jack got the distinct feeling that the bigger man was enjoying this.

"Teal'c, come on, buddy. Throw me a bone."

"It is Major Carter." Teal'c's eyebrow shot up further when Jack straightened fully, his eyes widening in momentary panic.

"What happened?" Jack's tone was measured, but Teal'c could hear the undercurrent of urgency in his tone.

"She is fine. But she was most frustrated at your absence and conferred to Daniel Jackson and I that she wished to speak with you." Teal'c stared hard at O'Neill.

"Okay…?" Jack made a "continue" motion.

"She sounded most upset. And determined."

Uh oh. Jack frowned, mentally reviewing everything that he'd done, trying to figure out why his absence had pissed Carter off. "Thanks, Teal'c." Jack sat back in his chair, not overly concerned.

"You are welcome." Teal'c bowed his head. As he left, the big man could not help the small smirk that tugged at the corner of his mouth. And Daniel Jackson said that he did not fully grasp the human courting rituals.

Jack watched Teal'c leave, frowning slightly as he turned back to his plate. Sure, Carter sometimes got mad at him, but it was rare and usually deserved. Jack didn't always understand why, but he was pretty sure she wouldn't be mad at him for missing a briefing. The sound of a throat being cleared caught his attention and his eyes shot up.

Carter.

"This seat taken, sir?" Sam gestured to the chair across from him, her expression unreadable.

"All yours." He made a motion with his fork, wincing an apology when he spattered gravy near her arm.

"Not hungry, sir?" She asked, indicating his plate of half eaten, cold food. When he didn't answer right away, Sam folded her arms in front of her and looked at him with concern. "Colonel? Everything alright?"

"Not really." Jack looked like he was about to say more, but he shook his head. "Teal'c said you wanted to talk to me?"

Sam frowned and looked taken aback. _'I always want to talk to you…but I don't think that's what you mean.'_ Sam shook her head slightly, now was not the time for those thoughts. "Did he say what about exactly?"

"Nope. But he seems to think it's about my not going to the briefing."

"Oh. No, I figured you had…things…on your mind. We ended it early anyway, no one was really feeling up to…you know." Sam straightened up a little, her brow creasing. The colonel hadn't looked at her once since she sat down. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

Jack stopped playing with the gravy, but didn't look up. "The floor is yours."

Sam looked around before leaning forward, keeping her voice low. "I miss him too, sir."

"Carter?" Jack glanced at her momentarily.

"Skaara. I miss him too. I was thinking earlier…today would have been his wedding day." She paused. "Well, actually, it might still be his wedding day. I'm still not clear on the whole ascension thing." She smiled, trying for levity, but the colonel only shifted in his seat. "It, uh, it would have been nice to go." Sam felt the next words bubbling up, but they were out before she could stop them. "With you."

Sam didn't move. Or blink. Or breathe. She just sat there, face frozen into a weird expression of horror and nervous smiling. Jack didn't say anything either. Instead, he slowly put down his fork, placed his elbows on the table, and rested his chin on his interlocked fingers. Very slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Carter's, the smallest of smirks tugging at his lips. "Oh?" That one word and Carter felt the last of her self control break.

She felt the warm flush as her face turned bright red and her mouth worked to form words, but all that came out was a strangled laugh. Jack didn't say anything else, he just waited for Carter to speak. Which she tried to.

Several times.

Finally, a choked laugh/cough escaped her. "What I, uh, meant by that, _sir_, is that weddings are friendly…I mean friend weddings, well, not _friend_ weddings. Friends don't get married. That'd be like Daniel and Teal'c or us, um, no. Not…no." Sam paused, aware that there was literally nothing she could do to save this. "Okay. Bye."

But before she could do more than stand and half-turn, the colonel took pity on her. "Carter." Sam didn't turn back, but closed her eyes and waited for the other shoe to drop. Hell, she waited for all the shoes to drop.

"Yes, sir?" She wouldn't admit it, but she voice cracked on the last syllable.

"Sit." His tone hinted at humor, but the command was evident.

So she sat. Still not facing him.

"Look at me." Jack cocked his head to the side, amused at the unexpected turn this little conversation had taken. He had been in a rut for the last several days and this had been exactly what he needed. Some good old Carter wordiness.

"Yes, sir." She tried very hard, but she could not seem to turn her head to actually look at him.

"Carter, complying with an order doesn't just mean agreeing to it. You actually have to do something." Jack's mouth quirked and he felt his heart swell for just a moment. This is why he loved her. For once, Jack didn't shove the thought away. He needed to feel and acknowledge that he hadn't lost everything. Just for today.

Sam scrunched up her nose and turned jerkily to face her commanding officer. "Hi, sir."

"Hi, Carter." Jack kept his face carefully composed, wanting Carter to sweat for just a little longer.

After another long minute, Sam's shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, Colonel. What I said…what I _meant_ was…what I mean to say is that it didn't come out right."

"No?" Jack cocked his head.

Sam blanched, worried that now she may have offended him. "Not that you wouldn't make a good wedding partner, uh, guest partner. "She stammered out. "Oh, my god, what is wrong with me today?" Sam just looked apologetically up at the man across from her.

"Pre-wedding jitters?" Jack supplied helpfully.

_Oh. My. God._ This wasn't happening. "Colonel." Despite her blinding embarrassment, she managed a semi-reproachful tone.

Jack smirked, but didn't apologize. "Wait here."

Sam smiled, the expression dropping away as soon as the Colonel moved from her line of sight. Her head fell onto her arms and she sighed deeply. It had been such a strange week. But at least the colonel seemed to be in better spirits…even if it was at her mortification.

…

Teal'c peered through the window in the commissary. Several people had tapped him on the shoulder or nervously asked him if they could go into the commissary. Teal'c had merely given them "the look" and turned back to the window.

Colonel O'Neill had grabbed the last slice of cake from the chow line and was moving back to Major Carter, who hurriedly raised her head from her arms, face still bright pink.

Teal'c turned to the small, grumbling crowd that had gathered behind him. "No one is to enter this room."

"Wha-?" Various complaints were mumbled, but the big man silenced them with a look. "No one," he spoke slowly, meeting the eyes of everyone gathered. "Is to enter this room." He nodded, satisfied that they understood the underlying threat and moved away as the crowd dispersed.

Teal'c smiled slightly. _'Happy Day of St. Valentine.'_

**A/N: I thought we needed a silly one after all the angst! Please R and R!**


	7. Year 7: Part One

**Year Seven: Part One**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters.**

**A/N: Only one more left after this two parter, guys! There may be a bonus chapter as many of these V-day's had alternate content than what I published. The last one was pretty fluffy, but this one is all angst. Because that's all we ever got from these people. Lol. Seriously, though.**

****Coincidentally, Heroes Pt. 2 aired the closest to Valentine's Day, so tis during this episode that this snippet is set. Spoilers.****

****This is a TWO parter!****

**Enjoy!**

Daniel leaned against the wall, his back press into a corner and knees drawn up to rest his forearms on. He had taken his glasses off and his vision was blurry, but it didn't matter. There was nothing worth seeing. All the light and color was gone from his world.

Again.

His head thunked back against the wall as his eyes slipped closed, fighting the hot burn of tears that threatened to spill onto his cheeks. His world had been taken from him years ago, when Sha're was taken host and then murdered. He thought he would never be happy again. But he was wrong. Janet Frasier had brought color back into his life, had made things bearable…had made life enjoyable.

He had almost told her. He had been so close. Valentine's Day was coming up and he'd been planning on taking her out to his favorite café, simple and unpresumptuous. He wasn't sure, but he thought there was a good chance that she felt the same way. But he'd never gotten the chance. SG-9 had been ambushed and they were called in for back-up. Four days before he was going to tell her.

He had been distracted, focused on Wells' wound and the message for his wife. He hadn't seen the Jaffa. Hadn't seen them raise the damnable staff weapon and fire. He had only seen her face, illuminated by fire as the blast knocked her backwards, saline bag exploding and Wells screaming, he couldn't think. So he screamed.

Daniel pressed the heels of his hands to his forehead, trying to force the screams and gunfire from his head. He had tried to save her, pressing his hands to her chest, trying to stem the flow of blood. But it was too late. She was dead before she hit the ground.

Dead.

Janet was dead.

Daniel felt his stomach rush up into his throat. He couldn't sit here. He couldn't be _here_ anymore. Launching himself to his feet, he stormed from the room unsteady on his feet, mind blank with grief. He didn't know where he was going, just that he needed to get out of here.

A face in his mind's eye caused his steps to falter momentarily. Cassie. He hadn't been the one to tell her; Sam had. They had fought over that one. Sam thought Daniel should do it, he was arguably the closest to the teenager. Sam knew how Janet had felt about Daniel and thought it only right that he be the one to talk to Cass. He had flat out refused. He couldn't handle it.

Daniel felt fresh tears prick his eyes when he thought about Sam going to the school to pick Cassie up. How had she told her? Did Cassie blame him? Had he even spoken to Cassie in the last few days? He couldn't remember.

As if waking from a dream, Daniel finally realized where his feet had taken him. The room he died in. Janet's eyes had been so wide, so angry. He held her gaze as he felt himself slipping away and all he wanted was to take her anger away. But then he was gone.

And she was left alone here.

Is this what she had felt like? Did she feel like her entire world was shattered into a million pieces and she would never be happy again?

'_But I came back.'_ Daniel thought bitterly. _'You're never coming back, Janet. Never.'_ The sudden, angry thought surprised him. It was so definitive. So final. Janet was never coming back.

Daniel dropped onto the bed suddenly exhausted. He blinked rapidly for a moment, trying to clear his vision. It took him a minute to realize that it wasn't tears that were blurring his vision, but his lack of glasses. He sighed. He'd left them in his office. But what did it matter? There was nothing to see anyway.

Daniel leaned back and carelessly kicked his booted feet up onto cot. The overhead light was off and Daniel stared up at his blurred reflection in the window above him. He could _almost_ picture Janet standing over him, asking questions about how he felt in a soft voice, eyes warm and open and laughing. But her face changed suddenly. Instead of warmth and light, her skin was grey and her eyes slits of yellowed tissue. Daniel jerked away from this un-Janet.

He refused to remember her that way. She was Janet, small and warm and good-humored.

"Daniel?" The soft voice startled him and he turned expecting to see Sam frowning worriedly at him. Instead, the woman in front of him stopped his breathing.

"Jan-Janet?" He blinked rapidly. Despite her blurred edges, she looked just like the former doctor.

"What're you doing in here, Daniel?" Janet looked around, her white lab coat gleaming in the sudden light from overhead. Daniel frowned. He would swear that the light had been off.

"Waiting for you, I guess." Daniel settled back onto the pillows, but didn't take his eyes off of her.

She laughed quietly. "Waiting for me? Daniel, my job was to wait for _you_."

"Was?" He retort was quick, almost begging her to tell him he was wrong.

The smile left Janet's face. "Yes, Daniel. Was."

"You can't be gone, Janet. You _can't." _Daniel felt the familiar sting at the back of his eyes and looked away.

"I'm not gone, Daniel. It's a cliché, but I'll never be gone. I'll always be here." Janet laid a hand on Daniel's and he flinched inwardly expecting her touch to be cold. He blinked in surprise when it was warm…and very solid. "Where are your glasses?"

"I left them in my office."

"Ah. You know, I always thought you looked cute in them." She winked and felt a rush of pride when a small smile lit his face.

Daniel sighed. "I had plans, you know."

"Oh?" Janet grinned and scooched Daniel over so she could sit.

"Yep." Daniel felt calm. He had nothing left to lose now. "Valentine's dinner. And dessert." He raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed.

"That sounds like it would have been wonderful, Daniel." Janet watched as the smile on the man's face faded.

"It would have been." He held her gaze and squeezed her hand. "Do we get second chances, Janet?"

"I think you've gotten more than two, Dr. Jackson." She grinned as Daniel made a face.

"I'm serious. Do you think we—you and I—can get a second chance?"

Janet sighed, hesitating. "Not in this lifetime, Daniel."

Daniel closed his eyes against the onslaught of grief that assailed him. "Why not?"

"Because it's over, Daniel. I had my life and I had my death. As much as we can want to change that, we can't." Janet stroked her thumb over the back of his hand. "So take this chance, Daniel."

He glanced up at her and smiled. "My last one?"

Janet nodded. "For now."

He took a deep breath. "Janet Fraiser, I want to thank you for the numerous times you have saved my life." She laughed at the slightly British accent he adopted. He smiled back then grew serious. "I should have told you a long time ago even though I think you knew…Janet, I love you." He brought her hand to his chest and rested it over his heart.

Janet took a deep breath, a shy smile quirking her lips. "Daniel, I-,"

And he jerked awake. For a minute he wasn't sure what had happened. She had just been_ right there_ about to tell him…well, about to tell him the most important thing he would hear for the rest of his life. And he had _woken up_. Grief hit him like a ton of bricks. She was never coming back. She would never say she loves him. She would just…never.

Daniel felt numb. He felt so utterly broken, that he couldn't feel anything at all. Slowly, he sat up, feeling the weight of the universe settle onto his shoulders. He was about to stand when something on the edge of the bed caught his eye.

His glasses.

**A/N: End of Part One (Dan/Jan). Part Two is SamJack. Please R and R!**


	8. Year Seven: Part Two

**Year Seven: Part Two**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters.**

**A/N: Part Two! Thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

**This is also set during Heroes Pt.2, so spoiler alert.**

**Enjoy!**

Sam sat in her darkened lab, staring at the report she was supposed to be writing. She had gotten halfway through it before the tears blinded her and her hand refused to write anything else. First the colonel and then Janet…she couldn't write it. She couldn't write that she'd watch her commanding officer go down without putting any feeling into it and she couldn't write about what happened to Janet because she wasn't there.

She hadn't been there. Would she have been able to save Janet if she had been? No. She couldn't save the colonel and he had been _right there_. How was she supposed to write that he had been shot and she had abandoned orders and protocol and ran to see if he was okay? She had put her weapon down. She had ignored the other officers around her fighting for their lives just to check on this one man. She couldn't write that.

Sam put the pen down, shaking her head. She wasn't finishing this tonight. Looking around, she felt at an utter loss as to what to do. She couldn't go talk to Janet about what had happened because Janet was gone. Sam closed her eyes against the fresh onslaught of grief. She would never see Janet again. She would never talk to her again or laugh with her again. She was just gone.

And Jack had almost been gone too. For that one heart-stopping instant she had thought she'd lost him. She'd watched him fall, watched his head bounce on the hard ground, not flinching when an alkesh dropped bombs fifty feet away. She hadn't thought, she'd just run.

Sam groaned and dropped her head into her folded arms. She couldn't think about that. And she couldn't think about Janet. She just needed not to think. So she slept.

_She saw the colonel yelling something to the man he was next to, but she was too far to hear anything over the staff blasts and alkesh. She had turned back to face the adversaries coming at her when she felt it. She didn't hear anything different or see anything out of the corner of her eye. She just felt it. She whipped around again just as the blast connected with his chest._

_Sick. She felt sick. "Sir!" she yelled, forgetting that Jaffa were coming at her, forgetting that she was supposed to be covering other people. She pushed off the rock she had been kneeling behind and ran, weapon dangling uselessly from her vest. Nothing mattered except getting to him._

_It was like it was happening in slow motion. She watched his body arc backwards as he fell to the ground, saw his head bounce once on the ground before falling to the side, facing away from her. She didn't know if she was screaming or not, all she could focus on was his pulse as her fingers searched for it. Finally she felt the weak, but steady beat under her fingers and she felt sickening relief rush through her. She felt her body sag to the side, then straighten bolt upright when a staff blast whizzed past her ear, reminding her that they were in the middle of a battlefield and very much in the open._

"_Teal'c!" She yelled, not looking around to find him. "Teal'c!"_

_Without a word, the big man was by her side and carefully lifting the colonel into his arms. "Get him back to the gate, now! I'll cover you." With the colonel out of commission, command of this mission was hers. "Fall back, fall back! Get Wells and let's go!" _

_She heard several affirmatives and then Daniel's voice, staticky, but panicked. "…need a medic! Fraiser's been hit!" And Sam's blood ran cold all over again. But there wasn't time. They had minutes, if that, before they lost the gate. "All available medical personnel, report to Wells' location. Get the airman and Janet and get out of there! We have minutes, people!"_

….

Sam jerked awake, a scream stuck in her throat. Her hair was plastered against her forehead with sweat and her heart was racing. A dream. It had all been a dream. Reality hit Sam once again and she felt her stomach rise into her throat. Not a dream. Janet was dead and the colonel still hadn't woken up.

But he would, right?

Sam looked around her lab, it was darker than she remembered. The whole world seemed darker. Try as she might, she couldn't snap her thoughts away from the dark. She needed to walk; she needed air. Sam shoved her stool back and left her lab, not bothering to turn the lights off. She didn't know where she was going, she just needed to be away from her thoughts.

As she passed the gateroom, Walter's voice floated towards her. "…plans specifically? N-no. I guess not." She heard a woman's voice answer him, but couldn't make out the words. But she did hear his answer. "I n-never really thought about Valentine's Day. It's just a holiday where the card companies benefit. And I'm pretty sure Colonel O'Neill thinks it's Major Carter's birthday." Sam felt her cheeks redden, but smiled sadly at that long ago Valentine's Day. "But, yes, dinner sounds great."

Sam hurried on, realizing that what she'd just overhead was really rather personal. And disheartening. She remembered when Valentine's Day was an inside joke, a slice of pie between colonel and major—it was lighthearted…it was fun. But it hadn't been like that in a long time. Somehow, without anyone realizing it, their lives had gotten so dark. No more lightness, no more jokes, no more laughter…it was hard.

Her pocket buzzed and Sam jumped, looking at her phone she saw thirteen missed calls. Pete. She sighed and dropped the phone back into her pocket. She hadn't forgotten about him, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the base. Not tonight. Pete had wanted to spend Valentine's Day with her, but she'd told him she couldn't.

And that was before this whole botched mission. No matter what, Valentine's Day would always belong to her team…and to the colonel. And she needed him to know that. Suddenly, her feet seemed to know exactly where they were going. She needed to see him, needed to talk to him. It was their day whether that meant anything to anyone except her.

Barely waiting for a response to her knock, Sam opened the door, relief sending dizzying waves over her. He was awake, he was moving around, he was really okay. Sam felt the tears coming, but she had to hold them in; he needed to know how much she needed him to be okay. Needed them to be okay.

And he would tell her they were.

**A/N: Please R and R!**


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